TinderellasBY SARAH PERLIN
These days, it seems that we have apps for everything, whether it be for decision-making, planning, or communication. Sometimes it feels like we have half of our lives in our hands all behind one little screen. So, why not use an app for sex and dating? In fact, about 66% of our student body, judging from a recent survey, report having used such an app.
People use apps such as Tinder, Grindr, and Bumble for plenty of reasons. While the majority of people report using it for fun, or to be ironic (68% of users attest to this*) it also can also be a confidence booster too! Or, if you’re my roommate, you use Tinder to sell your meal points. That being said, what is actually the intended use of these apps? Amazingly, only about half of these users report using these apps for actual hookups. Similarly, only 45% of these users seek a romantic relationship from these apps. For many, there seems to be a stigma around the serious use of Tinder. I have heard time and time again the classic, “I only use it because I’m bored” or “Yeah but I don’t actually take it seriously.” Well, why not? "Tinder is a hit or miss." The truth is that Tinder is a hit or miss. Meeting up with someone on Tinder can be terrifying. First off, you only know what they look like based on a few pictures. And God knows they only choose the best pictures of them - if it’s even them. Next is the more serious worry: how do you know if it’s safe? Well, that’s something that you really need to use good judgement on. First off, always tell a friend when you’re meeting up with someone on Tinder. Preferably someone you live with, like a roommate. If you can, share your location on your phone with a friend. Next, look to see how many mutual friends you have. Thankfully, most of these apps connect to your Facebook so you can see who you both know. The more connections you have, the better. "The most important thing to establish is what you want out of it." Once you’ve decided that your match seems like a good candidate, you still have to get over the initial meet and greet. For some people, this means meeting up for coffee. For others, this means going straight over to their place. Or their bedroom (wink, wink, nudge nudge). The most important thing to establish is what you want out of it. Do you want a second date or do you want just one steamy night? Either one is fine so long as that’s what they want too. Meeting up with someone you found on an app seems pretty freaky because you only know them from their profiles. Just because you see you have a shared interest in the page “Puppies are the Best” doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll find your soulmate. The truth is that you won’t click with everyone you meet. Sometimes you’ll meet up with someone and even if you’ve been sending flirty text messages or animal gifs back and forth for hours, you’ll find nothing to talk about. Maybe you’re just looking for a one-night thing but all they can do is tell you about their major or their great-aunt’s back problems for hours. Definitely not going to work out. But on the other hand, there are plenty of great people using these apps too. You get to choose who you swipe right on and so do they. This means that you already have established some sort of mutual attraction. There’s nothing sexier than the confidence you have when you’re around someone you know for a fact is interested in you. Work it. "There’s nothing sexier than the confidence you have when you’re around someone you know for a fact is interested in you." Dating and sex apps have the potential to be convenient, sexy, and fun. But, about half of WashU’s app users report either not believing or being unsure of the possibility of making a genuine connection with someone through an app. Well, for you 50%, here’s a #Tindervention. Meet Sophia and Lindsey. This adorable couple met in August of this year. Sophia, having re-downloaded Tinder for fun, remembers seeing Lindsey’s picture come up on her stack. She thought Lindsey was cute, so obviously she swiped right. Lindsey specifically remembers seeing Sophia’s picture and thinking how cute she was. But, on accident, she swiped left! Luckily enough, Sophia’s picture later came back up in her stack and Lindsey quickly swiped right. It started with a simple “Hey” from Sophia. Pretty soon, the two discovered a mutual love for The Office. I had the privilege of getting to see this first conversation, and it was beyond cute. Lindsey, reporting that she gets nervous about meeting people off tinder, wanted to do it as quickly as possible. She told Sophia that she didn’t want to be an “eager beaver,” but she was free that night. After the perfect first date, ending with a tub of ice cream and cookie dough, they reported,“It was pretty much right away. Everything was very fast.” “It was pretty much right away. Everything was very fast.” Still don’t believe me when I say that dating apps are not a force to be reckoned with? Try telling that to Lindsey and Sophia next summer, in 2018 when the Tinder-made couple ties the knot. Just think, had Sophia not re-downloaded the app, or Lindsey hadn’t swiped right (the second time), this match made in heaven wouldn’t have been made at all. But not everyone swipes right with the intention of finding a relationship and that’s okay. Flirt a little. Flirt a lot. Besides, who doesn’t love a good pick up line to get the ball rolling? I think my favorite is “Are you the SAT? Cause I'd do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes...with a 10 minute break in the middle for snacks.” You go take that SAT. Share that location, let loose and have some fun. No matter what reason you’re using the app for, why be embarrassed? Almost half of users said they have lied about using one of these apps in the past. You use your calendar app to organize your life and you use Tinder or Bumble to meet new people. And, maybe, just maybe, do a little more than just meeting. *All data is from a survey administered by the author through Facebook forums. Contact XMag for details. |