Perplexing Porn
BY OLIVIA FAIR
Holding my vibrator in one hand and my phone in the other, scrolling through Pornhub can be seriously detrimental to the mood I’m going for. Forced blowjobs and forms of sexual assault and coercion aren’t appealing to me, or to many people I know. After sending out surveys to members of the WashU community, I found further evidence that people aren’t interested in these extremes. However, my likes and dislikes cannot, and should not, dictate general norms, and my intention in this article is not to kink shame. Many people are into rough sex, BDSM, and violent role-play, and St. Louis hosts a large kink community. My goal here is to question why sexist and violent pornography is common in the mainstream, porn that sets unrealistic expectations, glamorizes violence, and boasts a lack of consent.
These questions may be addressed by first examining hypermasculinity. Sitting alone, behind the safety of a computer screen and the sense of anonymity offered by the Google search bar, many feel at ease asking personal inquiries regarding their bodies. Above all questions men pose to Google regarding their bodies, “how to increase my penis size,” is the most common (NY Post). This makes sense, if you think about hyper masculinity and the culture around “big dick energy.” The insecurities men feel about the size of their penises may be indicative of porn categories focusing so much on power dynamics. “A man fucks his slutty daughter,” as you may have suspected, is perhaps popular because of the power dynamic often assumed between a father and his daughter. Maybe, incest is popular as a porn category because it implies, in most heteronormative porn videos, that a man has such sexual power over a woman that she would have sex with her own father to fulfill her sexual desires. The same goes for the “girl on girl” category. Anyone who has watched this category knows it isn’t necessarily intended for a woman who is into other women, but instead someone who gets off on watching people who are desperate for sex. The women appear to experience over the top orgasms that came at the eleventh hour— so horny they would even have sex with another woman. In reality, orgasming is an incredible feeling, but it isn’t always that scream-at-the-top-of-your-lungs, entire-body-vibrating orgasm portrayed in porn. Now that we have established why these porn categories may be so mesmerizing to our (obviously) repressed society, it’s time to dive into my own findings. After surveying students of WashU, I was discovered that a remarkable number of women indicated their interest in being dominated. Being lightly choked and slapped were the most common responses from women to the question of “What do you like?” Daddy and age differences were also popular. The number of women who prefer to be dominated or have pain inflicted upon them was surprising to me, as I would think people wanted to feel more powerful and in control. My surprise led me to expand my own conceptions of pleasurable sex, and exposed me to the various forms that desire takes on this campus. No sexual desires deserve to be shamed, and I happen to enjoy a powerful partner ;) as well. In fact, I think these desires should be encouraged as long as they’re accompanied by open communication with your partner(s). The underlying message of the survey responses indicated that people crave realistic sexual experiences, not the earth-shattering ones they see in most porn videos. Whether you enjoy dominating, submitting, or anything in between, the important thing is always to feel comfortable with yourself and your partner(s). |