Dressing Gender:
How Everyday External Choices
Can Reflect Internal Identity
BY MADISON KAPLAN
Walking down the street the first thing I notice about someone is what they wear. For better or for worse, I have an impression of them. I can tell if they’re intimidating as they rest their hands in the pockets of their leather jacket. I can tell if they’re approachable as they snuggle into an oversized sweater. I can tell whether they shop at Urban Outfitters; I can tell if they shop in their parents’ closet. And if this fleeting moment ends here, that impression remains.
What would I think when I see you? These speculations barely scratch the surface of the complexities that make each person just that: an individual. Yet, clothes do tell a story, and below are ten such stories. ANNA: It makes me feel confident…dressing up a little bit more is kind of like ‘okay I’m out of the sports environment.’ How has the way you dress evolved? “I really rejected anything culturally, classically feminine, and then I think through sports and actually having good girl role models I realized that being strong doesn’t have to be just male focused… it’s become more feminine or more balanced. I feel like I can still maintain my personality and dress up.” Do you view the way you dress as a means of expressing your own gender identity and/or sexuality?
CAL: I think that if I become complacent with my clothing and feel like I’m not pushing the envelope with gender norms or conventional images of masculinity then I’m letting myself be lazy.
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Do you view the way you dress as a means of expressing your own gender identity and/or sexuality?
How has the way you dress evolved?
I was very confined by what I thought rules of clothing were...Certain online blogs and guides to ‘How To Dress Well.’ But recently I’ve felt like there aren’t any rules and that’s all made up, and if you try to apply rules then you’re just kind of boxing yourself in.” HANNAH: If you don’t like my propeller hat you can fuck off. How has the way you dress evolved? My mom was like “aw, she’s expressing herself” with my hand gloves and matching high socks and belts— I had a belt collection. So then when I got to high school I started picking up on social queues more and I lost a lot of what I love about my style. Now as a college student, kind of reclaiming the magic to the way I dress has been a really empowering experience for me and I feel like that’s not something I would have had if someone squashed that little light right at the beginning and said, “don’t wear that,” because I did wear that and it made me happy and I didn’t care when I was younger. I’m happy to not care now. Why do you choose to dress the way you do? A lot of it is for me and the reclamation of my childhood. And a lot of it is so I remember that there is something, that what I wear puts something between me and the world… I’m part of this world and so much of it is out of my control and ...dictates that I act and live in a certain way...go to school so you can get a job so you can make money and ...settle down with someone else. So much is predetermined… The way that I dress reminds me that I do have agency to make my own choices [even] if that choice is as simple as a pair of crazy earrings. Do you view the way you dress as a means of expressing your own gender identity and/or sexuality?
NOAH: I feel better when I’m dressed nice, I feel more focused, more confident… It opens people’s perceptions and makes them think, “oh straight men can care about how they dress!”
Do you view the way you dress as a means of expressing your own gender identity and/or sexuality? I have never subscribed to stereotypical masculine clothing. I like clothes and liking clothes is a not masculine thing and I’m okay with that…I think it’s a fun gender norm to challenge, and encourage others to challenge. I’ve had a lot of friends come to me for, I don’t want to say fashion advice, but that makes me feel good…it’s cool to see people respect the decisions I make even though they aren’t as outgoing or bold with their choices of clothing”
“I wouldn’t say sexuality, but as for gender identity, yes in some ways because I feel like because I’m not drawn towards femme clothes, like dresses and skirts...I identify as a female [sic.] but I also have this part of me that is very much stereotypically male [sic.]. And I don’t like wearing [skirts]. Also, I have a big butt, as many people know, and I really love taking nudes and showcasing my ass because I think it is one of my favorite body parts but in clothes it’s something that I hide. I think that’s because to me it’s something that is a very feminine thing and like often I’ll wear pants and long things that cover that and I did that subconsciously ... because of the gendered associations with it and the gendered attraction and attention…That definitely made me feel more viewed as a female in a negative way when I wore clothes that showcased my butt in a way that I would get catcalled more or seem more vulnerable …and I think that that definitely pushed me into my clothing choices…but I don’t think I realized until a lot later.
LINA: People don’t realize how important it is what they put on their body…[they] think so much what they put in their body what they do to their body…but they forget that clothing is something that is just as important because your body is a vessel and the way you guard it… should reflect how you’re feeling on the inside…
How has the way you dress evolved? As I got older I tried to dress, like late middle school early high school, I was trying too hard to be trendy, and it was not myself, but I wanted to fit in and wear things that people were wearing. But I was always a little bit different, a little bit off, which is good. Now I feel like I just wear fully what I want and sometimes that corresponds with the trends and sometimes it doesn’t, and I just wear it and it’s great and I feel comfortable in it. What is your signature accessory? My Nike Air Force Ones that have bedazzled laces, like gems that I put on the laces. Because I wear them with a lot of things and they’re really comfortable and I feel like they reflect my personality because they’re pretty basic classic shoes but I added my own bedazzle. How sexual partners and romantic partners//friends//family perceive your clothing? If what I’m wearing makes me comfortable or happy then they like it because they want me to feel comfortable and happy. I feel like a person looks best when they’re wearing what they most want to be wearing in that moment and so it may be not the most stereotypically attractive thing, but it’s what they feel the most comfortable in. NICK: I remember I got a cardigan in seventh grade which was like a big deal if you’re a seventh-grade boy and super insecure, and I remember specifically another kid teasing me about it and a teacher teasing me about it as well and so it made me feel… kind of shitty I just thought it was this cool sweater I got from urban outfitters.
KEDZIE: Isn’t it kind of odd that you can decide I’m going to be feminine today and you wear a skirt and a frilly shirt and it’s just I want to be this person today, and if someone sees you for the first time they think that’s who [you are]?
How has the way you dress evolved? I kind of like throwing together random outfits…I spend a few minutes thinking like, “huh is this working” and then after a while I’m like, “yeah, it works,” and then leave. Do you view the way you dress as a means of expressing your own gender identity and/or sexuality? I wouldn’t really say a correlation to be honest, but I’ve never really thought about it in depth… I think that sexual identity is a very confusing topic for me. I think sex is such an interesting concept…I think there is more of a correlation in how I view the world. ROB: This feminine-masculine concept is so fucking stupid… Perception is reality. Everybody as soon as they meet somebody... they are creating a character and are judging them. That’s why how you present yourself to people [is important]. So, I don’t really mind that people are judging me based on my appearance, especially because usually it’s accurate. Why do you dress the way you do? I think the way you dress is the first thing that people notice about you... when people see how I dress I want people to get a general gist of who I am. So when I’m wearing my clothes that are a little bit out of the ordinary or like from the 90s, or bright colors, they’re like, “oh this kid is probably not a super regular thinker.” I think it’s more representative of me because I think of myself as more out of the ordinary.
anti-hyper-masculinity. When I dress it expresses maybe a lack of masculinity, regardless of my sexuality. Although my sexuality is heterosexual, I think the way I dress properly identifies me as a person who isn’t necessarily hyper-masculine, or super caught up in heteronormative culture.
GABY: I feel confident so I think people see confidence. Why do you dress the way you do? It feels the most authentic, I think [in] a lot of ways it meshes with my personality… I have a cousin who would say you act [and dress] like a man. Well, I don’t really but in a lot of ways I think the way I approach relationships and the way I carry myself ...in some ways [counters] gender stereotypes. I would say I like taking up space physically and I think that men’s clothing is physically larger so there is something that is more self-assured about that, it feels the most comfortable. What do you think about, if anything, when you get dressed in the morning? I think about the activities I do and the feeling I have that day…I think for dance, specifically with hip hop for me I feel a more masculine presentation – I dance better. It captures the energy of the music. What is your favorite article of clothing or signature accessory?
Do you view the way you dress as a means of expressing your own gender identity and/or sexuality?
I am cis-gender, so I don’t feel like it reflects my gender identity so much, but I do think there are a lot of ways to identify as a woman so if you see that as a spectrum…like how feminine you feel I think it expresses that... I see gender and clothing as not binary and just being somewhere in a grey area. So, there they are, 10 stories of 10 people that previously only had 10 snapshots in your mind. Even if clothing isn’t necessarily something you think of that much, are you happy with yours?
Editor’s Note: Quotes minimally edited for clarity. |